FROM BIFF TO BOOF

Australian cricket has moved from biffing people in pubs to Darren ‘Boof’ Lehman, as their saviour for the upcoming Ashes campaign. 

 Just a few weeks from the start of the first Ashes Test, our coach has been stood down for failing to submit homework on Joe Root and because he didn’t correctly use a hashtag when tweeting a journalist. 

 Or maybe he was stood down, because the Australian team couldn’t win a Test Match, One Dayer, Twenty 20 or game of uno. 

 What has Mickey Arthur actually done wrong? I personally have no idea. It was his batsmen who didn’t score runs and his bowlers who didn’t take wickets, yet he was the man who stumps have been pulled on. His cattle slightly lack the class of past teams who I could have coached to victory. 

 It appears as if poor discipline was the reason for Arthur’s sacking.

 There has been poor discipline in Australian cricket for decades with drinking, smoking, girls, text messages at lewd hours, and videos yet Australia still won, so there was no problem. Now, when we couldn’t win a game of ‘Guess Who’, discipline is important. 

 Boof is well respected by the current players and the Australian media and this may in fact be the reason for his future success. He does command respect because he has been there and done it. He is relaxed and has a great sense of humour and these may be the attributes a young and inexperienced Australian cricket team need to guide them through England. Hopefully the players respond to Lehman, because everyone wants to see the Ashes come home.

 I do feel sorry for Mickey Arthur though. If the Australian cricket team was a game of Cluedo, the final result would be Mickey Arthur ‘done’ it, in the Walkabout, using his homework.

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