3 F*^KING THOUSAND REASONS NOT TO SWEAR

How many people have never sworn when playing sport? 

I would say the answer is next to zero. 

Sport is about passion at any level. Most people playing sport want to win, because let’s be honest, no-one remembers second. In the most famous 100m race of Olympic history, in 1988, can you tell me who came second? (After Ben Johnson was disqualified). 

Australian cricket captain, Michael Clarke has been fined $3,000 for his swearing and sledge at English fast bowler, Jimmy Anderson, in the most recent Ashes Test. 

Australia were more on top of the Poms than Neil Armstrong was on the moon, yet Clarke felt compelled to issue the English fast bowler with his now infamous spray, “get ready for a broken f*^king arm”. 

It wasn’t necessary. The captain on board the Titanic should have seen the iceberg. That was necessary. The Secret Service and FBI should have searched the ‘grassy knoll’. That was necessary. 

I’m no Jerry Seinfeld, but the sledge wasn’t particularly funny. Maybe Clarke should spend some time talking to the great sledgers to get some better material for next time. 

Some of the classic gems from cricket include these three: 

Ian Botham arrived at the crease and Aussie wicket keeper, Rod Marsh said to him “So how’s your wife and my kid’s?”. Botham replied with “Wife’s fine. Kid’s are retarded.” 

Mark Waugh copped a spray from Englishmen James Ormond. Ormond came out to bat and Waugh started off with “What are you doing out here? You’re too sh!t to play for England!”. Ormond replied with “Maybe so, but at least I’m the best player in my family.” 

Finally, South African Daryll Cullinan got a one up on his nemesis, Shane Warne. They hadn’t played for a few years, so when Warne’s bunny hopped onto his turf, Shane had to say something. “I’ve been waiting two years for another chance at you“. Cullinan shot back with “Looks like you spent it eating.” 

The above three examples are clever, funny sledges which are now famous in cricket world. 

Clarke didn’t really need to attack Anderson and by inferring he wanted to break his arm, I believe is going over the top. 

He is not a captain in park cricket. He is the Australian captain and while he can blame technology for being too good and capturing his every word, he knows full well what microphones are designed for. He speaks in to one after every days play and they’ve only ever amplified his words, not muffled them. 

As mentioned earlier, I believe everyone swears in sport, but this was a particularly unnecessary and spiteful sledge and not the type of thing which should be said by a man holding a prestigious position within Australian sport.  

The biggest loser is Kyly Boldy who will be getting a few less presents this Christmas, due to her husbands pent up energy, after the Australians have lost nine test matches on the Jonathon Trott.

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