Here we go again. Melbourne Cup time. Another excuse for me to have a little tickle, drink champagne and possibly wear a matching kerchief. Sounds like a normal Friday night, except this time, the rest of Australia will be joining me in the race where no one can pick a winner. It does stop the nation as well, but if you jump into water where Sharks are eating a whale, that will also stop a nation. If you’re a Sharks player, there’ll be a picture or a tweet or a picture on a tweet, which can stop a nation.

I’m bringing some very solid form into this year’s Melbourne Cup. In the recent NRL finals series, I tipped just one game correctly for the entire series.

I don’t want to sound racist, but this is my favourite race of the year and it will be a cracker. I honestly think there are a number of roughies who can win and there doesn’t appear to be a real standout for me. You might not admire me but you have to Admire Rakti. In saying that, I just don’t think he can win. Most people think he can, so there’s my first kiss of death. Get on this pony. Call the Cavalry Man, because I’m about to make some outlandish claims. This horse is a huge chance. It’s won twice already over this distance, so keep this in mind. Fawkner. FawkNO. Even if you don’t trust me, you just have to take Red Cadeaux, on trust. He just seems to run well over the 3200m. A little bit like Daniel Kowalski. Doesn’t mind being on the podium. German vehicles seem to run smoothly and this German powerhouse, Protectionist, will protect your investment. A huge chance.

Sea Moon is the one pick I know I can’t get wrong. Like the poms last Sunday in the League, this Pom is done.

The luck of the Irish won’t come in the form of Seismos. Junoob is like a bag of mixed lollies. You just aren’t sure if you will pull out a jelly baby or a milkbottle or chocolate covered liquorice which no-one really likes. It’s not the first rodeo for Royal Diamond and I believe this could hold this old dog in good stead. It’s dropping more weight than a Biggest Loser contestant and don’t rule this one out!

First there was Watergate and then Nipplegate. Now there’s just wood at the end of this gate. Gatewood is running well and my only concern is going the distance.

I have Mutual Regard for Mutual Regard. I think this is the winner. Damien Oliver is on board. In 17 starts it’s only not won or finished out of the places three times. Over this distance there are two wins and two seconds. This is the one to beat. In case you missed it. My pick.

When your horse loses the most common expression will be “get me a drink”. When you can’t find the barman, you’ll be saying Who Shot Thebarman? Dont’ shoot this horse, because it might be raising the bar with a great run. Willing Foe. Willing faux pas. If you’re ambivalent about picking a winner, tip My Ambivalent. It will definitely place. Everytime it’s been first up it has won or placed. It’s dropping a bunch of kg’s as well.

I feel like a lawyer talking about Precedence. It has set precedence. It doesn’t win much. 62 starts. 10 wins. Not ideal. Brambles will bumble along and Mr O’Ceirin is 200-1. This means for every $10 you put on this one, you lose $10. Au Revoir. Enough said. I once knew a pretty decent runner called Ben Liddy. I think he could run faster than Lidari. In my Opinion this horse will guts it out. Don’t be surprised to see it having its own Opinion on who wins. Araldo has no bravado. The only thing it has going for it is a gold lightening bolt, like my beloved Chargers. So it’s really got nothing going for it. Not even a nice name.

Lucia Valentina only started racing a year ago. A long future lies here. Won’t be too far from the winner’s circle. Unchain My Heart will definitely run out the distance. Slowly. Finally we can Signoff this preview. This horse only got into the Cup on Saturday but has the magic man Joao on board. Joao could ride a pool pony to victory at the moment and this horse is set to the minute. I think he will Signoff the Emirates Melbourne Cup with a second place.

In summary, my numbers are 11, 24 and 14.

If you think this owning a horse thing could be fun, speak to Brenton Le Grand from Bloodstockonline.com.au. You’ll actually be pleasantly surprised how affordable owning a share in a horse can be.

Melbourne Cup day is the day everyone gets to be like Ricky Ponting.


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