Friday funnies: And the numpty of the week is…

Some very funny footage here!

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GiroYou have to wonder at the particular brand of knuckle-headedness that governs cycling.

This week, at the Giro d’Italia, there was a positive story to be had. Not the failed drug test kind of positive but a solid gold good news story. Worthy of a Chariots of Fire soundtrack. That good.

The scene opens on Aussie cyclist Richie Porte. He’s a serious contender, in third place overall, 22 seconds behind the leader Alberto Contador. He’s done 193 kilometres of the 200-kilometre 10th stage when he gets a puncture.

His support car is nowhere to be seen. He’s losing precious time. His entire race could be over.

Cue Vangelis. Suddenly Simon Clarke, a fellow Aussie from a rival team, stops. He takes the front wheel off his own bike. And gives it to Porte.

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WHO IS THE BEST ATHLETE IN YOUR FAMILY?

I was the best athlete in my family. Often there is one sibling better than the other. The most famous case of this is with Mark and Steve Waugh and the infamous sledge by English cricketer, James Ormond.

Upon Ormond’s arrival at the crease Mark Waugh said, “f*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here? There’s no way you’re good enough to play for England.”

Ormond replied: “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my family.”

As an athlete I soared to some amazing heights. I represented Hampden Rd against Cecil Ave in the Pennant Hills All Street Championships, with aplomb. It was an intense competition fought out by six or seven pre-pubescent kids. One of the 10 year olds went onto become Australia’s fifth fastest 100m runner, Kieran Noonan, so there are no surprises that I didn’t beat him. My one victory as a runner came in year six and I was so surprised to be leading the cross country, I had no idea of the course and went the wrong way.

While I dreamt of wearing the green and gold on the track one day, crippling injuries curtailed this. I prefer to blame my knees as opposed to my lack of talent.

Athletics is still very dear to my heart and I can’t wait for the IAAF Diamond League to start this weekend, before the Athletics World Championships and we have some great competitors going around.

In 2009, Australian, Dani Samuels became the world’s youngest ever champion at discus throwing. She commences her international season this weekend at the opening leg of the event billed as the annual homage to athletics – the IAAF Diamond League from Doha.

Samuels comes into the first event of the international season in brilliant form, after a successful Australian domestic season that saw the 26-year old claim yet another Australian title and a tremendous Diamond League season last year, in which she finished on the podium in each of the five events she contested. Samuels aims to continue that success in the lead up to this year’s World Championships in Beijing.

“The Diamond League provides ideal preparation leading into the World Championships, every event is almost like an Olympic final, the competition is that strong.

“It helps provide an environment in which I can perform at the highest level under pressure and the opportunity to compete against the best throwers in the world”, said Samuels.

Joining Samuels in Doha will be a number of Aussies including Olympic gold medallist Sally Pearson, who will set out to show she is still the most feared hurdler on the planet in the women’s 100m hurdles, while Tasmanian, Hamish Peacock will contest the men’s javelin and Sydney girl, Madeline Heiner the women’s 3000m steeplechase.

Australian athletics fans can watch all 14 rounds of the 2015 IAAF Diamond League season LIVE on Eurosport.

The 2015 IAAF Diamond League premiers LIVE on Eurosport, Saturday 16th May at 2am (so you can watch it with your kebab after a big night) or there is an encore screening at 7am AEST, so you can watch while you snap, crackle and pop!

ARE YOUR BALLS DEFLATED?

Most men don’t want their balls deflated, unless your name is Tom Brady who is already married to glamour girl, Gisele.

Deflategate has certainly been pumped up and the name given to the Patriots, Deflatriots certainly got out of control.

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The Patriots organisation was cleared of any wrong doing over deflating balls in their play off game against the Colts, however they have still been severely punished. Their punishment was for not fully cooperating with the Ted Wells investigation.

They lost their first round pick for next year, their fourth round pick in 2017 and they got a $1 million fine. Not dirt cheap. Together with this, Tom Brady received a four match ban for the upcoming season.

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I think Roger Goodell is the greatest sports administrator I have ever seen and I applaud him for this harsh penalty. He has set an example to every other team- just stick to the rules.

Goodell makes teams and individuals pay for their mistakes in the back pocket and on the field. He may have his haters, but he is strong. Many codes should copy his example and he runs the NFL in a very strong and disciplined manner. Please NRL, AFL and the A-League, take a leaf out of his book and impose harsher penalties on teams and players. Set an example and scare organisations off from doing the wrong thing.

I don’t want to pump up Goodell’s tyres anymore, but if anyone can tell me a stronger leader in any organisation, I’d love to hear.