Is Jimmy Anderson for real? He wants an Ashes series with no sledging. That’s like saying I want an Origin series with no biff…ok, that happens now.
Anderson has made the biggest mistake of his life. He is in for a barrage of abuse when he heads out next Wednesday.
Here are some of the best sledges of all time:
Rod Marsh (Aus) and Ian Botham(Eng)
Rod Marsh : “So how’s your wife & my kids?”
Ian Botham : “The wife is fine but the kids are retarded”
Viv Richards (West Indies) and Merv Hughes (Australia)
Viv Richards hit Merv Hughes for four consecutive boundaries in one single over.
Merv’s response was to stop halfway down the pitch, fart loudly, and say to Viv: “let’s see you hit that to the boundary!”
Mark Waugh (Australia) and James Ormond (England)
Upon Ormond’s arrival at the crease Mark Waugh said . “fuck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here?There’s no way you’re good enough to play for England.”
Ormond replied: “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my family.”
Daryll Cullinan (South Africa) and Shane Warne(Australia)
As Cullinan was heading out to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him.
Cullinan replied.”Looks like you spent it eating,”
Ravi Shastri (India) and Mike Whitney (Australia)
Ravi Shastri was batting when the 12th man for Australia Mike Whitney was called on as a substitute fielder. Shastri attempted to pinch a quick single to Whitney at mid-off who yelled out at the 80-Test veteran, “If you leave your crease I will break your f—ing head.”
Without flinching, Shastri replied angrily, “Hey! If you could bat or bowl as well as you could talk, you wouldn’t be f*cking twelfth man!”
Merv Hughes (Australia) and Javed Miandad (Pakistan)
During a test between Pakistan and Australia in 1991 Miandad tried to sledge Merv: “Merv you are a big, fat bus conductor”. Only a few balls later Merv dismissed Miandad, ran past him and shouted: “Tickets please!”.
Ian Healy (Australia) and Arjuna Ranatunga (Sri Lanka)
The Australians were getting frustrated while trying to get the wicket of the portly Arjuna Ranatunga. Healy came up with a winner: “Put a Mars Bar on a good length and that should do it!”.
Jamie Siddons and Steve Waugh
In a Sheffield Shield match Steve Waugh was taking his time getting ready to face his first ball. Taking guard, scratching out his mark, looking at the field settings. Jamie Siddons decided enough was enough and remarked: “For fuck’s sake, mate, it’s not a fucken test match!”. To which Waugh replied: “Of course it’s not… You’re here”.
Viv Richards (West Indies) and Greg Thomas
In a county match in England, Thomas was bowling to Richards and getting a few to whizz past the bat. After Richards played and missed another one, Thomas said: “It’s red, it’s round. Now fucken hit it!”. This obviously angered Richards who proceeded to hit the next ball out of the ground. Richards: “You know what it looks like now go and get it.”
Now bring on The Ashes!