A PUNTER’S MELBOURNE CUP FORM GUIDE

Famous race caller Greg Miles, calls his 34th Melbourne Cup this Tuesday and this call will give him the greatest number of Melbourne Cup calls in history.
American Pharaoh had already won the Triple Crown and he added the Breeder’s Cup on the weekend to truly became one of the greatest horses the world has ever seen.
Will a winner from this years Melbourne Cup get set to become the next American Pharaoh?
American Pharaoh might be from the US, but ‘The United States’ will not be represented on the podium in Flemington. I don’t need any ‘Excess Knowledge’ to know this horse won’t win. I’ve had a few beers in my time at the Ivanhoe Hotel in Manly, but this pub won’t be shouting any VB’s for ‘Our Ivanhowe’. They also won’t be shouting any ‘Kingfisher’ but they might be shouting ‘Who Shot the Barman’. This horse took a bronze last year and I think it may take a medal of a similar colour this time around.
No-one really knows the ‘Criterion’ on how to qualify for the Melbourne Cup and no-one really knows where this horse will finish. The Big O isn’t making a comeback, but the ‘Big Orange’ is making his debut from ole’ blighty. There very well may be some freshly squeezed oranges added to champagne on Wednesday morning because this horse is a big chance. From orange to red, ‘Red Cadeaux’ is back again. He already has three second places in this race, so why not add one more. Just impossible to leave this horse out of the mix.
I had ‘The Offer’ recently to take a ‘Trip to Paris’. I declined both, not because I was on the ‘Quest for More’, simply because I had a ‘Preferment’ for anything ridden by Hugh Bowman. Preferment is a hot horse and is being ridden by the most in form jockey. This is my tip!
A lot of people like the ‘Fame Game’ and I just think they are game and very ‘Hokko Brave’. I might call myself a mediaologist and while I’m not a meteorologist I know that ‘Snow [comes from the] Sky’ and I also know this is a horse which Tim Bailey won’t be talking about in his next weather report.
‘Bondi Beach’ might be my address now, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to be putting my hard earned on this pony and no-one should. ‘Gust of Wind’ won’t be affected by the weather, just by the other 23 better horses. Any horse named ‘Almoonqith’ doesn’t even deserve to be in the Melbourne Cup, in my opinion. The owners clearly didn’t know that you are meant to have a U after a Q. The ‘Prince of Penzance’ sounds like a kids cartoon character or pantomime and this horse is just child’s play.
There’ll be plenty of marshals at Flemington on Tuesday but no ‘Grand Marshall’. An old school friend of mine ‘Sky Hunter’ is heading to Victoria this Tuesday but is just making up numbers. ‘Hartnell’ might have a big heart, but he will need more than just Pharlap’s heart to feature here. Quintus Sertorius was a Roman statesman and general. His brilliance as a military commander was shown most clearly in his battles against Rome for control of Hispania. Quintus will be turning in his grave after the performance of ‘Sertorius’.
Mad Max appeared at the cinema recently. It came. It went. The sequel might be called ‘Max Dynamite’. It might not either. It might not win either. 
 
Happy tipping and enjoy your Melbourne Cup day!
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